[i don't have a name for this one yet]

I cringe at the thought of seeing you,
but yet i do it everyday.
Hearing your voice would be suicide,
all though you called me.
Feeling your warm embrace again
would be like cutting a bare heart.
Staring into your chocolate brown eyes and
telling you goodbye one more time.. is unattainable now,
I freed myself from the death grip you held on me,
even though you willingly let go.
I was the murderer while i searched for
my killer.
Yes!! everyday i think of you, everday i regret you, everyday i miss you, everday i see you or hear or say or write your name.
Most days i don't care, most days i wish you were here.
Few days i long to see you again, few days i become jealous of your other friends,
Every now and then I hate you
Forever I forgive.
never will i forive myself.

5/04/09